This morning I woke up in a foul mood. I could feel it in my bones that today was not going to be a good day.... just like the day before. When I got in the shower I had Taylor Swift stuck in my head. I love her, but not THAT much. I have been singing her song, 'Fearless' the entire day. Wow. So I get in the shower and am seriously acting like I have an excuse to be miserable.
I get to my desk in seminary and say to myself, 'I am going to fake a smile and perhaps that smile will become real.' Well I didn't have a cheezey grin on face the entire class but just pretending to be happy made me feel happy. Crazy concept I know, but true.
In dance my partner and I are working on choreographing a duel with our feet. It is intense yet I loved every minute of it. It's been such a long time since I have been allowed to do big things. I am all about simplicity when choreographing but I finally was able to let myself go and it was amazing.
Just then the doorbell rang. It was a kind lady in my ward asking me to deliver a card all the girls in my ward had signed for a sweet young woman who has been recently ill. I gladly accepted, put on my shoes and walked quickly down the street to her house. The entire time I was thinking about what I could say to her, how to comfort her, and say something that would perhaps make her day. I was very nervous but I just knew that whatever I said would work just great. Perhaps I would make an impact on this young woman.
I slowly walked up to her door and before I knocked, I took a deep breath. knock knock knock A few seconds later, her mother came to the door.
"Hi." I say. "Is your daughter home or could I perhaps leave this with you?" I said as I held out the envelope. "She's downstairs," she replied. "I'll take it." "Ok. Could you just tell her that we love her?" "Of course." "Thanks!"
Then I made my way home. What in the world was that? It was most definitely not what I was expecting. I wanted to make a difference! And yet I didn't even get to visit with my friend. I was not able to offer kind words or give her a loving smile. While I was walking through the rain in the dark of the night, I honestly felt I had failed.
I think what I need to learn from this is humility. Great things take great amounts of time. I also need to prepare myself to be ready for these things. It may be possible that if I was spiritually prepared, I could have contributed something to my friend.
TO ADD TO MY 'lily' ENTRY:
60. Be prepared for more things then just a pop quiz
That's quite a list. but im sure it's not even close to being finished.