Mandrake

Dear Teenage Girls,
Let me let you in on a little secret I just recently learned.

Don't beat around the bush.


Simple? I think not. See, our worst enemies are in fact ourselves. Teenage girls are insane and to think I am one is even more insane. One of the worst things about our gender is communication. Yes. I'm talking about real, honest to goodness to truth conversations. No texting, or facebooking your problems out with each other.
Talk.
Face.
To.
Face.
It's really scary- I know, I'm scared myself but the outcome has surely got to be better then hiding behind technology. What's even worse then using a modern day shield is not talking at all! Say your friend is your friend one week and then your enemy the next. Hmmm. Why is that you wonder... well most likely, you're never going to know because we the girls of the United States of America, don't tell them because
A) they figure you already know exactly why they are angry or
B) they are too cowardly to tell you and presume you will some day figure it out yourself.
NEWS FLASH! A & B are highly unlikely. Take the initiative, as the great John Mayer says, 'Say what you need to say.'

We are all a powerful, strong, beautiful and courageous generation! Let's be kind and sweet and... friends! I would like to take a minute to now quote Aretha Franklin:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Come on ladies. We can do it!

ya know what i'm sayin?

I blog the entire today. Seriously, my whole day is full of thinking of introductions and conclusions. However, nine times out of ten, I do not use what I have thought of. I say something completely different. Today though... goodness I don't know what to say.
You know those days that are good for most of the day but then there is just one moment that it completely and totally the worst? So then that brings ALL of the good parts of the day down too. Goodness, goodness, goodness. Stressful. What do you call those kinds of days? Is there a name for them? I think there should be.

Tiger-flower

The internet is a great thing. Here are some of my favorite things:

Now this is what I call a belly laugh.
I love to cook. This is one of my favorite websites to search for recipes on.
I am in this one at 1:36 and 2:03! It is where I did Nutcracker at. Now that was fun! (ps: my friend Kenzie is in it too... like the entire time!)
Hugh Laurie fans?
If you ever go to London, England, stay here. (Navigate around this site to fine more info)
One day, I am going to own a pair of MukLuk's. It's just a goal I have.
I want to be apart of one of these sometime in my life.
When my sister and I first saw this commercial, we watched it over and over. I shouldn't laugh but I do...
This is Fred. It's probably the biggest time waster in the world but I can't help it. I just like his episodes. I need to wean myself off of his show.
Two favorite styles: boho and vintage
My favorite singer's official fan site. I seriously could write a whole blog about her. No- I am not a crazy, obsessed fan, it's just that she is a great role model to young girls everywhere! Yet I cannot deny, her music is simply the best!
I like to act out this one with my friends. Good times...
This is my favorite movie in the whole wide world: Waitress.
Last but certainly not least, my favorite blog in the entire world is nienie. I look on it everyday to see if there is an update. She is amazing. I promise you will get hooked!!!

Well this is just a sample of my 'must-haves'. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Balm

Let me tell you about the adventures of A.M.A (Alyssa, Mary, Alexandra) on the night of March 28th: Once upon a time on a dark and stormy night... (minus the dark and stormy part)
....I went over to my friend Alyssa's house where Mary was around 9. We started by decorating our shoes. Hooray! They turned out so cool!!! I'm wearing my (hand-made sharpie) shoes on Monday and Tuesday. I'm pumped.
About half way through, we stopped our designing and went to Days... at 10:30 PM! What is this madness you ask? I still don't know. We put on our coats and walked the couple blocks singing made up musicals. We like to sing. Plus, Mary's a good rhymer. When we got to Days we browsed the aisles for a few minutes debating whether to get chocolate or fruit. I wanted pasta but that was out of the question. We didn't get anything because before we knew it, it was 10:45 and apparently the curfew in that neighborhood is 11:00 and none of us particularly wanted to tell police officers why we were singing made up songs in our pajamas and coats so late as we wandered the streets, (sidewalks- but still) so we walked home. We got to her front lawn about 6 minutes before 11:00 and so Alyssa and I laid down on her front lawn and star gazed for 4. We went in at 10:58 because Mary was freezing. She needs to eat more ravioli.
After that we went back on Alyssa's bed and continued to sharpie our shoes. We put on 'Runaway Bride' but I honestly can't tell you too much about it because I fell asleep after Julia Roberts changed Richard Geere's hair color. Hmm... I hope he got it back to normal. Those were pretty bright colors.
Apparently I was out by one and they were out by three. Now it is 10:00 and I am exhausted. I wonder why... actually I don't wonder why. I know exactly why. (see story above)

Poplar

Today I am putting my foot in the door. Is that the phrase? I'm not entirely sure but all I know is that I'm more excited then nervous at the moment and I pretty please hope it stays that way. I have been thinking about it for a long time and there are times that I think, 'Yes I can do this.' and other times when it's, 'Oh no.' I am leaving in 15 minutes to give it a shot and I figure that's the best I can do. I hope this is the start, or rather, continuation of something new that I will learn lessons from. Good ones. I know how to conduct myself and how to show what I know but can I come across that way? I sure hope so.
Wish me luck.

photo credit: Bonnie Tsang

Indian Cane

Welcome to my day!
Today I am grateful for...

• Good advice given
• Lessons learned
• Details observed
• Compliments
  
• Funny jokes
• Patience
  
• Go with the flow people
• Organized people
  
• Gifts given
• Gifts used
• Willingness
  
• Light moods
• Insights learned
• Understanding friends
• Good ideas
• Seeing eyes
• Happy people
• Light hearted people
  
• Humble people
• Humidified air
• Service givers
• Risk takers
• Understanding
  
• Conversations started
• Re-acquaintances
• Back ground stories
• Similarity
• Soft Smiles

What will I be grateful for tomorrow? Hmmmm... I wonder....

Bindweed

This morning I woke up in a foul mood. I could feel it in my bones that today was not going to be a good day.... just like the day before. When I got in the shower I had Taylor Swift stuck in my head. I love her, but not THAT much. I have been singing her song, 'Fearless' the entire day. Wow. So I get in the shower and am seriously acting like I have an excuse to be miserable.
I get to my desk in seminary and say to myself, 'I am going to fake a smile and perhaps that smile will become real.' Well I didn't have a cheezey grin on face the entire class but just pretending to be happy made me feel happy. Crazy concept I know, but true.
In dance my partner and I are working on choreographing a duel with our feet. It is intense yet I loved every minute of it. It's been such a long time since I have been allowed to do big things. I am all about simplicity when choreographing but I finally was able to let myself go and it was amazing.

later

Just then the doorbell rang. It was a kind lady in my ward asking me to deliver a card all the girls in my ward had signed for a sweet young woman who has been recently ill. I gladly accepted, put on my shoes and walked quickly down the street to her house. The entire time I was thinking about what I could say to her, how to comfort her, and say something that would perhaps make her day. I was very nervous but I just knew that whatever I said would work just great. Perhaps I would make an impact on this young woman.
I slowly walked up to her door and before I knocked, I took a deep breath. knock knock knock A few seconds later, her mother came to the door.

"Hi." I say. "Is your daughter home or could I perhaps leave this with you?" I said as I held out the envelope. "She's downstairs," she replied. "I'll take it." "Ok. Could you just tell her that we love her?" "Of course." "Thanks!"

Then I made my way home. What in the world was that? It was most definitely not what I was expecting. I wanted to make a difference! And yet I didn't even get to visit with my friend. I was not able to offer kind words or give her a loving smile. While I was walking through the rain in the dark of the night, I honestly felt I had failed.

I think what I need to learn from this is humility. Great things take great amounts of time. I also need to prepare myself to be ready for these things. It may be possible that if I was spiritually prepared, I could have contributed something to my friend.

TO ADD TO MY 'lily' ENTRY:
60. Be prepared for more things then just a pop quiz

That's quite a list. but im sure it's not even close to being finished.

Ipomen

Ok so 'Little Women' is one of my favorite musicals EVER! All the songs are absolutely beautiful and I invite you to see the musical or listen to the Original Broadway recording. Seriously, I could listen to it all day.

One of my favorite songs is , 'Some Things Are Meant to Be'. It is a beautiful duet sung by Jo and Beth. Beth is very sick and it is the song sung just before she dies.

click here to see and hear the great Megan McGinnis and Sutton Foster sing their beautiful song. They are my idols!

I love this song because of the music and yes their pretty voices but also because of the words. Listen. They're powerful.


Some Things Are Meant to Be lyrics

Let's pretend we're riding on a kite. Let's imagine we're flying through the air!

We'll ascend until we're out of sight. Light as paper, we'll soar!

Let's be wild, up high above the sand, feel the wind, the world at our command.
Let's enjoy the view, and never land.

Floating far from the shore.

Some things are meant to be, the clouds moving fast and free.

The sun on a silver sea.

A sky that's bright and blue.

And some things will never end.

The thrill of our magic ride.

The love that I feel inside for you.

We'll climb high beyond the break of day.

Sleep on stardust, and dine on bits of moon


You and I will find the Milky Way. We'll be mad, and explore.
We'll recline a loft upon the breeze.
Dart about sail on wit with ease.
Pass the days doing only as we please, that's what living is for.

We'll be mad, and explore. We'll recline a loft upon the breeze.
Dart about sail on wit with ease.
Pass the days doing only as we please, that's what living is for.
Some things are meant to be, the tide turning endlessly,
the way it takes hold of me, no matter what I do,
and some things will never die, the promise of who you are,
the memories when I am far from you.
All my life, I've lived for loving you; let me go now.

individuality is beautiful

Everyone is human.

Is that not a strange thought to you? I think it is insane. Everyone has thoughts and ideas and a life that I do not know of. Who really knows anything about anyone? I have to catch myself so many times because I find myself thinking that I am the only one. I need to, I have to remember others in order to survive in this world. Well perhaps that's a lie. I know some believe it is a 'dog eat dog' world but I refuse to believe that. There is good in all things. I find it fascinating how everyone has different view points.

I just need to remember that individualtiy is beautiful.
Would you care to join me on my quest to do that?
It would be my pleasure if you came along with me.

I wish.

Today has been the kind of day that makes me wish I could be a pro-wrestler. I could use a few punching bags. It is so hard to care about people when the people you are attempting to care about do not care for other people themselves. It's hardest though, when I try to be happy or, at the least pleasant, when you are surrounded with vain people.

I, I, I
Me, Me, Me

This advice is for me too. I realize that, but will it ever end?! It gets on my nerves. Why? Because what good does it do anybody if we are only concerned for ourselves? You can not do anything alone. Nothing! We all need each others help, we all need each others support and last but not least, we need to respect each other. I wish beyond all wishes that we could all have the same view on things. I wish we all knew what we wanted to achieve so that we could help each other on the way.

Hortensia

I am in a happy mood today. And this made it even better! This is a GREAT feel good song and completely improv! (well not the song just the blocking and walking and such)

click here

I love how everyone just walks past him and they don't really mind that he's singing a song to himself. I think I might try that one day. Yes. Let's add that to the list.

My absolute favorite part is the very last part, "Did you get the birds?"

photo credit Bonnie Tsang

manly flower name here

I wasn't going to do this but somebody asked for it so here we go: This is my post for guys: I don't have much to say on the subject matter because I am not a boy-hater but I do have a few things in mind.

First, (this sums up a large amount of my bullets) don't be a creeper. Let's say, for example, you think the girl who sits next to you in science is attractive. What are you going to say? Think about it. Well I can tell you, you don't say 'Hey baby. What's kickin'?' Pretty sure that screams creeper/stalker. So I'd go more with the, 'Hey. How are you?" and be genuine. Care about the things you talk about. Find links into each others lives that connect you so that you actually have something in common. Too vague? Here's an example:

1. Boy: Hi
2. Girl: Hello
3. Boy: How are you?
4. Girl: Just fine.
5. Boy: So what do you like to do?
6. Girl: Ummmm.... I like horse back riding.
7. Boy: Really? That's so cool. I've never been!
8. Girl: That's terrible!
9. Boy: Yah...
10. Girl: We should go sometime!
11. Boy: YAH!

Ok. Maybe that was a little too perfect but I think you get the general idea. In line 5, the boy asked a genuine question and truly wanted to know the answer. In line 7, the boy made a connection, in this case he had never been. Beware of line 9. The boy almost caused an awkward moment. But last but not least, the girl decides that is boy is actually nice and takes the initiative. That step could go either way but do not invite yourself to hang out. For example, a bad scenario would be if the boy asked to go horse back riding. Yah.... no.

Next is hygiene. The way you look and smell for that matter, is vital. I am in no way saying that you have to all be body builders or shop in the mens department of Nordstrom's. All I mean is don't look unclean. Take pride in the way you look. Comb your hair Also, showering is a good thing. I highly recommend doing it at least every day.

Third, shivery is not dead. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Please be gentlemen... men who are gentle. Take time to open doors, say please and thank you and give sincere compliments. It does wonders every time. Also, I think manners are important, even when there are no girls around. For instance, don't watch your language just around girls. Do it all the time. That way, nothing will ever slip and no discernment will have to be discerned. Does that make sense? ps: don't be gross.... EVER. Testosterone is not an excuse.

A quick note, girls kind of.... get hurt I guess when a boy flirts with them and then immediately flirts with someone else. I don't know how best to avoid that because getting to know people is good but it's just something to think about....

Last tip: a girl can tell the true colors of a boy by the way he treats his family and pets. Do you kiss your mom goodnight? Are you respectful to your father? Do you refrain from annoying your older siblings? Do your younger siblings look up to you? Do you treat your pets nicely? I once heard the way a guy treats his mom is the way he will treat his wife, and the way a guy treats his pets is the way he will treat his children.

Finally, you boys are GREAT! Don't ever let a girl make you think otherwise. All girls are not necessarily nice. There are a lot of blunt people in the world who will say what they think, when they think, and how they think, with out considering other peoples feelings. A girl should not define you or make you feel bad about yourself. Remember YOU are the one who decides how you feel. Don't let others sway you.

ps. girls like boys who smile. try it sometime. it's good for your health.

Fern

girl style. girl confidence. girl power.
Alright ladies. This one's for you.

First and foremost, dare we speak of... you guessed it, boys. Before I say anything though, this is probably directed to those my age. Just saying. So I don't claim to be an expert on this subject and I don't think I will ever be. But that's ok. I don't need to. And you don't either. We are young and vibrant and have so much time. Be friends! It's so much funner that way.


Second, which I think is very important is beauty. We. Are. All. Beautiful. None of this, 'I wish I were prettier.' No. That's just plain stupid. Have you ever seen, 'How to Look Good Naked?' Don't let the title put you off! It's such a great show. It helps women who don't think they are beautiful. They go on the show and slowly become confident and finally love themselves the way they are! It was on this show that I learned of the 'Seventeen Body Peace Treaty'. It is one of the greatest things ever written for young women, and older women for that matter.

"I vow to...

• Remember that the sun will still rise tomorrow even if I had one too many slices of pizza or an extra scoop of ice cream tonight.
• Never blame my body for the bad day I'm having.
• Stop joining in when my friends compare and trash their own bodies.
• Never allow a dirty look from someone else to influence how I feel about my appearance.
• Quit judging a person solely by how his or her body looks — even if it seems harmless — because I'd never want anyone to do that to me.
• Notice all the amazing things my body is doing for me every moment I walk, talk, think, breathe...
• Quiet that negative little voice in my head when it starts to say mean things about my body that I'd never tolerate anyone else saying about me.
• Remind myself that what you see isn't always what you get on TV and in ads — it takes a lot of airbrushing, dieting, money, and work to look like that.
• Remember that even the girl who I'd swap bodies with in a minute has something about her looks that she hates.
• Respect my body by feeding it well, working up a sweat when it needs it, and knowing when to give it a break.
• Realize that the mirror can reflect only what's on the surface of me, not who I am inside.
• Know that I'm already beautiful just the way I am. "
  

signed

Alexandra Agle
SIGN IT!

Last but not least, and one of the most important things: WE are strong. With time, all things are doable. ALL THINGS can be managed. But let's not get through them and be done. Let's learn from them. I am leaving this vague for a reason. Fill in the blank. What do you need help with? What seems unconquerable? Well. It's not going to seem impossible any more. Go women.

trust yourself. love yourself. be yourself.

Maple

my daddy and i at the game

It's amazing what one peanut can do.

For reals. I saw a box of peanuts on the counter today and I had one. I chewed it really, really, really fast so that I could make 'homemade' peanut butter and it reminded me of... Dodger Games.
There is something magical about the Dodger stadium. It has the power to make you have fun no matter what.

My first game was when I was about seven years old. We always went to them with my Dad. It was a daddy-daughter date. I am the youngest in my family and so I was the last one to experience the joy. However, when my time came, I was prepared. My sisters had told me all the details and I was prepared for the best night of my life. We drove to LA, going under many tunnels and turning blue at the same time. Breathing in tunnels was simply not aloud. As we got closer to the stadium, the traffic increased which game me time to look out the car windows at all the tall buildings... and gray sky. Yes. I am talking about pollution. But I didn't know what it was at the time and so it didn't bother me in the slightest. As we got even closer to the stadium, there were several people standing on the side of the road with signs that said, 'HAVE TICKETS' or 'NEED TICKETS'. We always passed them because we HAD two tickets and that's all we NEEDed.

We drove all the way up to to the gates where they would check our tickets and then we parked. We then crossed the road after looking left, right, left and got into the stadium. As soon as you entered you smelt smoke. The smoking area was right there. This was, once again another chance for me to turn blue. Finally when you got out of range from that, you smelt beer. This is still a familiar smell to me today. Not because, we have beer in the house, or any outrageous thing like that, but because of these games. It smells sweet and thick. In a slightly twisted way, it is a comfort smell. Once we found our section we went down the twenty or so steps and got situated. We were mid right field, about 10-15 rows back. They were great seats. At first, I did not have a clue what was going on but as time went by, I began to feel that I could live like this every day.
My favorite part of the entire game were the people who came down the aisles yelling, 'LEMONADE' or 'COTTON CANDY' or 'NACHOS... GET YOUR NACHOS!' as well as mini-pizzas, and of course, peanuts. By the end of my first game, I believe I had three Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, a few nacho chips stolen from my Dad, at least one bag of candy and half a bag of peanuts. Now that I think about it, what is SO cool is that if you are not at the end of the row, you just yell and hand the money down from person to person and you get thrown the food. Talk about trust.
Another highlight was always the beach balls that would come around. I loved that! Hitting it was the best. It was great fun to keep them away from the ushers. Poor ushers... They had a hard job! They got booed many times for apprehending the beach ball and sometimes, if you ran away fast enough, (or else you would be thrown out of the game!) a daring soul would knock it out of their hands and start the game again. Once, a huge Shamoo type beach ball was started and it landed on the field. The game had to be paused for a few minutes. And who can forget the wave? My record was 7 times around the ENTIRE stadium. Wahoo!
Catching balls was also exciting! There was one time when the fly ball came over to the row RIGHT behind us. I looked back on the ground and there was no one there. I could have grabbed it but my reflexes were MUCH to slow. So before I knew it, people were grabbing and poking and trying to get the blessed ball. I just watched. Poor Daddy. I could tell he was sad that we didn't get it. I felt very bad. If only I had reached down soon enough. A little while later, the man who ended up getting the ball came over to our row and put it in my sisters hand (this time was a family affair) and said, "Maybe if you have the ball it will bring the Dodgers more luck." Yes, my beloved team was loosing- but that didn't matter. The kind man had given it to us. We were so happy! That kind man made my day, he made my memory. Thank you kind sir.

THE ball

So basically, these memories of laughing, winning and loosing flooded to me in a mere few mili-seconds and I ask you, what would I do with those seconds if I didn't have those dear thoughts?

thank you daddy. for helping create some of your daughters favorite memories.

Marigold

My Mommy and I got jamba juice today. YUM! We like jamba juice AND being healthy at the same time. I got a delicious 'peach passion' and was determined to finish ALL of it. No drop left behind! At the bottom were chunks of peach and there was one piece that simply refused to be sucked up by my straw. I sucked and sucked and sucked then WHAM! Choke, choke, choke. I should have seen it coming. But I'm ok! Don't worry. I am not choking any more.

a jamba yum moment

I really enjoy my one on one time with that mom of mine. She is great and the hardest working person you will ever meet. She is the prettiest lady in the whole wide world.

Mulberry

me and keke

I am sitting at the computer right now thinking about just how great my day was today.

Exhibit A: Although I couldn't sleep til 11:00pm last night I woke up this morning at 4:45am ready to conquer the world. That my friend is a great feeling.

Exhibit B: My class watched my seminary teacher's wedding video today in class because we were TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE. Don't worry, we fit it into the lesson. It was so funny to see him 21 years ago. He had hair!

Exhibit C: I understood the theorems taught in math today! And my student teacher is having a baby in July! That's exciting right?

Exhibit D: We practiced our songs in choir and perfected them as much as we could for the performance that was this evening. There's something about a choir that just gives me chills to think about. Think about it! A group of people are all blending, their unique voices to become one. How awesome is that?!

Exhibit E: I love dance class. Period. What else can I say? I love to dance, I love my teacher, I love my friends in that class... I just love it.

Exhibit F: Lunch is one of the greatest times of the day, especially today. We sat outside and sunbathed. It made me happy.

Exhibit G: We did worksheets in science today. Yuck right? WRONG. Believe it or not, it was pretty interesting....

Exhibit H: I had rehearsal today. It is so much fun spending time with friends and people who enjoy your passion for acting. (Dude! I totally said that in the school newspaper for the school play!)

Exhibit I: I had THREE slices of pizza today for dinner because I was so happy we had pizza!

Exhibit J: The choir concert went really well and everyone sang so beautifully. Our choir director, Mr. Larsen, really is great at what he does. Everyone sounded super. OH! and my friends sang solos in 'The Lion King' medley. They were great!

Exhibit K: When I came home I was hungry and what is the best thing to have at 8:00 at night? Fudgy oatmeals that's what. My mom's non-secret recipe that is the best dessert ever. I should not have had it so late but what's better then chasing down pizza (devoured a few hours previous, I might ad) then with a fudgy?

Exhibit L: My eyes are getting droopy as I type this because of my late night last night which means perhaps I have an early night in store tonight! Woopee!

So although I am EXHAUSTED and perhaps a little full, the sun is still going to rise tomorrow and new 'exhibits' will come my way. Perhaps I will even be someone elses exhibit.

On a side note: Tomorrow I have a scene to do in drama that I am having the HARDEST time with. I cannot seem to memorize the lines! Ah! It's so frusturating. However! I shall be victorious! Tomorrow, me, 5th period.... this scene is going DOWN!!!! wish me luck!

peace on the earth for generations -"fred"

Aspen

This week has the potential for all things to go wrong. I have been thinking about it all day with no solution until just a moment ago. I am going to smile. I am going to just do it. How hard can it be? All I need to do is use my face muscles and I'm hoping to be surprised by how good things will seem by the expression on my face.

Just a quick note. Have you ever wondered why frowning means sad/angry and smiling means happy. And how come nodding means yes but shaking your head means no? strange strange strange.... I am not complaining. Just asking. Asking questions is one of the most important things I think you should do. With out questions we wouldn't have answers and where exactly would we be now? I dread to think. But I think I like it the way it is now. Do you?

Nettle

sneaky, sneaky me...

"Open your mouth," my sister said. "I haven't put them in yet!" I replied. My sister Katie and I always had an ongoing fight about vitamins. Flinstone vitamins. Every day after breakfast, I was forced into putting Fred Flinstone in my mouth. They were chalky and nasty and small. Scary and disgusting and mandatory. When I was finished with breakfast I had a routine. Never on my life was I going to eat such vulgar things. I would walk in front of my Dad and pop tem in my mouth. Then I would go on my bottom bunk bed and spit them out down the side. Once I came out of my room my sister Katie would always say, "Open your mouth." "No" was always my reply. You see, she wanted to check if my tounge was purple- for that was my worst enemy, Fred's color. When I would not open my mouth she would go to a higher authority. Dad. "Daddy! Sashy won't open her mouth and so I don't think she ate her vitamins!" "Let her be." my Dad would reply. I knew I had always like him for I had won. I conquered my sister and my father. Day after day I felt on top of the world.

A few weeks later, my Mom was making my bed when she reached down to straigten the sheets when OHMYHEAVENS. She felt something fuzzy down the side. 'What was it?' she wondered. My question is, Did she really want to know? Well, apparently she did because when she pulled out the bed she found soggy, month-old vitamins. She gathered them all up and put the in a bowl. That bowl was waitng for me when I came home from school. "You can eat these all before Dad gets home or your grounded." she said. I have never made a quicker decision before in my life. Grounded was I, for two weeks! Ok kids. The moral of this story is EAT YOUR VITAMINS! You will grow up big and strong and who wouldn't like that?

Carnation

Yesterday was Morp. Thank you so much Jackson that was great! And to everyone else in my group or who I saw at the dance. I had so much fun.

However, actual school yesterday was not so much fun. I have had two rotten school days in a row! How could that happen?! Seriously, I've got to learn from my mistakes, not make them and move on. It's really getting annoying.

Anyways, so after rehearsal, we go to pick up my sister from the gym and I must mention I am in a TERRIBLE mood. I am sick and I have a headache. boo. So I am being a typical teenage girl, not talking in the front seat with my arms folded, when a truck pulls into a handicap space in front of us. I don't notice it until something starts coming out of the trunk of the truck. This machine is extending from the back of it and it's so fascinating I forget to breathe. Finally when I catch my breath I look back to see it has ejected (slowly) up into the sky and come down the left side of the truck (the drivers side) and it has a wheelchair attached to it. There is no sign of movement in the truck for at least 10 minutes but finally the door opens. In it, is a young man of about 25 and his seat is rotating out of his car. So now his seat is going forward but not towards the steering wheel but towards the door (because it rotated). His seat then comes down to the ground and he sits there for a while. Soon enough he starts trying to transfer chairs.

I hated this part.

I felt so helpless and I just wanted somone to help him. There had to be some kind person around. People were walking right past him as they were coming in and out of the gym! And then the thought came to me, Maybe I am the one meant to help him. You know how you can think a billion thoughts in one second? Well that's what I did and I was thinking things like, I am not strong enough, Wouldn't it be awkward, What if he doesn't want my help, Would he be offended if I asked, Am I being rude simply by looking?
Before I could think any more, two men go up to him and ask if he needs help. "Sure!" is his reply. One of them who is very muscly, (we are in front of a gym after all) scoops him up and loads him into the wheel chair. They leave with 'thank yous' and the man goes in and the young man in the wheel chair continues to work on getting everything situated. My sister came out after that and I didn't get to see what ended up happening.

But I can't tell you how grateful I am for that stranger who helped another stranger. You see, I don't think the man in the wheel chair had been in the wheel chair for a very long time. If I had to guess, he was still learning about his new life. And it got ME thinking. What would I do if that happened to me? How would my life change? Well I can tell you right now:

I wouldn't be able to dance
I wouldn't be able to do theater
I wouldn't be able to take long walks
I wouldn't be able to have as much independence
plus 1000 more

But I think it's important to add what I COULD do.

I would be able to dance
I would be able to do theater
I would be able to take long walks
I would learn how to have people help me
plus 1000 more

You see, I don't think it is necessarily a DISabillity but a challenge. You know, there is good in everything. And sometimes I can't see it immediately but normally it is right in front of my nose.

Think about your life RIGHT NOW. What good can or has come from a challenge of yours? I know challenges or trials are not one sided. There is good on both ends and every where in between.

photo credit Bonnie Tsang

Water-lily

My favorite song
you can listen to it at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX8pl3skckU

Half Way Home
words & music by jason mraz

I used to walk along the opposite side of the road and made others get out of my way
I used to think I could sit and wait for the times
but they wont come until I meet them halfway


I'm halfway home and I'm on my own
I'm halfway there and I don't care, I don't mind
I plan to leave here after supper time
that's when traffic is light, all I need is a sign
and I'll be alright. I'll be fine


I used to think that i could just sleep and then I'd dream
And everything it would come to me
Until I woke one day without anything to eat
Lying on the opposite side of the street


I'm halfway home and I'm still out on my own
I'm halfway there and I don't care, I don't mind
Because it ain't my time to stay or sayÉ
I'll never lay down.


I used to think that I could just sit and wait for the time
But I know I gotta meet them halfway


I'm halfway home I tried home running with the flow
I'm halfway there. Ain't it funny how everybody seems to care
I planned to get there around supper time their serving up bread and wine
All I needed was a sign and I'll be allright
I'll be fine.

Lavender

Today I didn't have much homework and so what else would I do but go outside in the gentle breeze with my music and twirl. I put both earphones in my ears, looked up to the sky, and spun. I spun spun spun. There was no stopping me. I was just going to keep going until... somebody told me not to. No one told me to stop but I heard the garage and I knew my Daddy was home. So I stopped and came inside.

i like to jump

So I was thinking today about love. Feeeelings. How some people find it quickly, how some people find it slowly. How some people simply find it, some people don't find it at all. Do you want to know something cool? No matter what life brings, everyone has someone just for them. There are six billion people in the world and there is a prince charming or beautiful princess for everyone. In some form or another, fairy tales are all around us.

ps I think it's important to mention I am not one of those love-crazed high school girls. I am normal! Or maybe since I'm not all lovey-dovey I'm not normal. hmmm... oh well. I guess people are just going to have to deal with it.

Honysuckle

the dreaded cupboard... why am i smiling? tsk tsk tsk

I quietly sit at the high table doing my homework, perhaps with an occasional text every now and then. I focus and concentrate on conjugating french verbs. Je suis, Tu es.... suddenly I find myself standing in front of the food cupboard. Darn it. How did I end up there? While I am thinking how much more I would enjoy dinner if I didn't snack before hand, my arm reaches out. 'Stop that!' I tell it. Shame on that arm. 'Be healthy... and a good child.' I tell myself. That's just too bad because pretty soon I have stuffed a brownie in my mouth. Geese Louise. That's what I get for uncontrollable reflexes. I really don't get how I do it. It's a gift... anybody want it?

It's amazing how doing something I love changes my mood completely. Believe it or not, I am not always a happy person! ;) I was having one of those days. Nerve days. Everything was annoying me. oops. So I go to voice and I am happy to finally sing (I have been sick for a WHOLE month!) and BAM! Life is good. I love it. I loved it. Remember a few seasons ago in American Idol, Elliot Yamin's big thing was, "Sing it like 'Yamin' it!" Well unfortunately, my last name is not Yamin and so can I change it to "Sing it like you mean it!" Is that ok? Well that's what I like to do.

tra la la

Geranium

Before I say anything, please look at this link:

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-publicity-dilemma

and if you have a minute help me out by going to

http://www.hbo.com/apps/submitinfo/contactus/submit.do?title=Big%20Love&questiontype=biglove

and ask to not air the episode in which shows sacred ordinances on TV which we would like to keep sacred. We do not have to be mean, just frank. Thank you.

Switching subjects, today was Kat's memorial at school. The band played a beautiful arrangement of 'You Raise Me Up' by Josh Groban. It was beautiful, so beautiful I got goosebumps all over my arms. After they stopped playing, the band quietly exited and the school waited for a while to applaud. Yes, it was that moving.

I found my sister afterwards in the commons and she was near Kat's parents. I don't know how to describe them because no single word, no matter how long, can explain what they're going through, but they seemed pulled together. I got the feeling that they embraced what was happening. They knew they would be alright eventually. It simply, or rather not so simply, takes time to heal.

My friend Megan was crying. She said, "Think of their poor family." I looked over and saw Kat's mom embracing a young lady comforting her and tears immediately welded up in my eyes. I realized I hadn't cried since I heard what happened. I had held on to it for three days. I have never wanted to disappear from somewhere more then I did at that moment. I did not want to loose it in public. Suddenly, the busy commons was no longer busy. Silence filled my head and I was finally able to think.

What is happening? How could someone my age, who I expected to be around as long as me, be gone?

Today I tried to be nicer to everyone I came in contact with. It didn't matter if it meant an extra smile, or a helping hand, it was my mission for today. I feel good about what extra I did for the most part. I'm trying to get into the mentality that everyone should be treated as if it was the last time I would see them. There should be no special circumstances. This evening at dinner however, I realized I was making an effort for everyone else except those who matter most to me. My family. Does that make any sense? I don't think it does. If anything happened to me or them and I had treated them anything but wonderful I would never forgive myself.

I apologize my updates have not been as bright and warm as normal. But life is still beautiful and my favorite hobby.


Breathe in, close your eyes and feel it. That is beauty right there.
Take care all.

Iris - in loving memory

Kat Mikolasy died March 6, 2009 at 9:15 pm. A friend of hers was playing with a gun and accidentally shot her. She died en route to the the hospital.

I don't think it has really set in completely. She was in my seminary class last semester. I'm not going to pretend we were best friends, because we weren't. Yet I can't lie by saying we were not friends because we were.

When I first got the text about Kat, I didn't think I knew her. Kat from seminary never crossed my mind. I searched the year book but she was not in there. I searched facebook and I couldn't find her. I tried many spellings of her last name and finally found her. I clicked on her profile picture and immediately knew I knew her.

I went upstairs and sat on the ground. It didn't seem real. Things like this don't happen to 16 year olds in Provo. They just don't.

Tara, the student body president, called me a few minutes later to check up on me. Thank you Tara. You are so kind.

Kat was super cute and super small. She was very sweet and got along with everyone she met. (At least that was how it was in our seminary class) She had this cool, skater attire going that I have always wished I could pull off. She was a joy in 5th period.

For a short time during the semester, we missed her from class a few times. One day on my way out of school, I said, "Kat! We miss you in seminary!" "Thanks," she replied with a smile. Next class, she was in her seat, eager to learn. I don't know why she was gone for those few times and I don't think it was because of me she came back but it made me happy that she was.

After we got new seminary classes I did not see her very much. I'd pass her every now and then in the hall but that's it. I wish I did more.

Every time someone I know dies, I re-examine my life. Am I happy? Am I doing what I need to? Who knows how long I have. How long everyone has!

I read an article by John Bytheway and in it he said, "The best way to prepare for death is to live life to the fullest." And I think that when you loose a loved one, there is sorrow on Earth but joy in heaven.

We'll miss you Kat.

flower jonas

mary and me

Yesterday was quite a day. I had school... bleh. Still. I was thinking. I should go to England for like, a month, stay with my grandparents, help them around the house or whatever they need, and go to school there! How AMAZING would that be??? It's not that I don't love my family and I'm one of those kids who wants to run-a-way because that has never crossed my mind. But! I'm not saying I don't love my grandparents, England, or a little vacation.
I digress. (very badly) So after rehearsal I went to join my gangsta friend (jk we only try to be homies) at BYU's Marriot Center to get tickets for Stadium of Fire this year on July 4th. Mary got them and do you want to know whose performing??? Just guess!!!
JONAS BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me, Mary, JO BROS, July 4th. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I don't think it has dawned on my yet because there should deffinitely be more exclamation marks on that 'Ah!' .
So afterwards we went to her house and I think I was laughing the whole time. We even made a gangsta rap. One day we will be pro gangstas....
Then we went to Mr. Timpview. (Basically a boys pageant for our school) HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE. It was so funny! Oh my. They were all fantastic. I hope someone recorded it because I will deffinitely put it up.
When I came home, I went to bed and slept... until 10:00! Wooohoooo! Soon I'm going to D.I but not for well, to be frank: cheap clothes, but for vintage clothes. I'm so excited!!! Vintage is my favorite style! My Mommy is SO nice to take me. She is the best.... in the entire world! Can I hear a woot woot?

Dandelion

my BEAUTIFUL cousin Aria and I

You know those days that are just bleh? The days that have no other words to describe them? Like, I didn't take risks and I didn't do anything close to check off things on my life list. I didn't make new friends or try new foods. I didn't laugh so hard water came out of my nose, I didn't cry... for any reason (happy or sad, or even allergies), and I didn't take a step closer to my dreams and hopes.
I did not live in the moment. I existed. I went to my class avoiding unnecessary contact with my peers, sitting in the desks staring blankly at the teacher, hearing the bell, and exiting quickly out of the class room. I repeated this four times today.
ugh.
But life is not over, I had no reason whatsoever to be this way, and I have no intention to be that way tomorrow. At 4:45 am tomorrow morning, I am going to wake up and smile. I am going to do geometry and smile. I am going to try-out for my school's choir and smile. I am going to dance my heart out next, stuff my face after, and learn about the human body last. Sounds like a great day right? Well it won't be over because it's FRIDAY tomorrow. Blessed, blessed day. Then there's the after school activities, hanging with friends, family and uh, food. And then there's Saturday and restful Sunday.

woop-di-doo

Tulip

Today I was thinking about the good ol' days back in Glendale. I was thinking about our little back yard. Can you call it that? Probably not because it was more like a strip of dirt behind our house. But I enjoyed it none the less. I thought of the many times I tried to create a fairy town but I always got stumped with the fairy pool. I would dig a hole and put water in it but in two minutes, the water would be gone. I could never figure out where it went. (Absorption was not in my vocabulary at that time.) So I would get the hose and refill it, go back to working on the fairy huts and visit my pool once again to find it empty. I gave up many times.

Katie and I playing dress up

My thoughts also wandered back to recess in elementary school. I would, believe it or not, chase the boys. Is that terrible? I'm sorry but it was fun! Now that I think about it.... those poor boys! I can just imagine them, terrified for their lives, running from crazy me. And believe me, I would stop at nothing. I eventually found ALL their hiding places.
I am pleased to report I do not chase boys anymore. I guess you could say I went through a phase- but a phase that is VITAL in growing up.

So. I just got home from visiting a rest home. When I was in primary, we went to one and I saw some nudity, done on accident of course, and I have not been to one since. Tonight I made friends with Laurie, Ruth and Barbra. They are delights! It was apparent that Barbra loved America with a passion. And Ruth! Wow, Ruth loved Bingo. And sweet Laurie, knew everything about Ruth and Barbra. It was so fun to hear their stories. I wish I could have stayed all night listening to their tales.
When I am older, I hope I repeat things many times to my friends. I hope I love my country (wherever that may be) as much as they obviously do. And most of all, I hope I am not lonely like they are not. Katie said that when she is 74, (Barbra's age) she hopes to eat as many cookies conscience free as she wants. I think that's something to look forward to.

Basil

my puppy!!!!!!! xoxo

This is going to be brief, I must apologize in advance- but I just wanted to fill you in on the goodies of this evening.
So! I have just taken a hot, toasty shower and now I am waiting while my herbal tea is sitting and brewing goodness! In two minutes I am going to take it up to my bed and sip it while I read from fabulous books!!!!!!!! I am so excited. I love life. I love it! Oh my gosh I'm just so excited to be cozy and woot woot woot! I love simple things at night. If you couldn't tell, it makes me happy.

Picture of the day

My fabulous family! Oh, I just love them! Summer 2007

Lilly

1. Ride a gondola in Italy.
2. Work at Disneyland.
   
3. Explore the middle east.
4. Listen to my own heart beat with a stethescope.
   
5. Eat sushi.
6. Go toilet paper a house.
   
7. Look at a snowflake under a microscope
   
8. Swim with the dolphins.
   
9. Throw a huge party and invite everyone I know.
10. Skydive (with someone is allowed)
11. Get a portrait done of myself.
    
12. Become AMAZING at french.
13. Tell someone the story of your life with out missing ANYTHING.
14. Be a member of an audience on a TV show.
15. Send a message in a bottle.
16. Ride a camel into the desert.
17. Plant a tree.
18. Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia.
19. Sit on a jury.
20. Write... something!
    
21. Dance the night away somewhere
    
22. Shower in a waterfall.
23. Teach someone illiterate to read.
24. See a lunar eclipse.
25. Spend New Year's in an exotic location.
26. Spend New Year's in New York and watch the ball drop.
27. Go gravity-less
    
28. Write my will.
29. Ride the scariest roller coaster in the world.
30. Learn to juggle.
    
31. Donate money to a good cause.
32. Grow a garden.
33. Scuba dive in Australia's Great Barrier Reef.
34. Go up in a hot-air balloon.
35. Attend one really huge rock concert.
36. Go inside the Statue of Liberty.
    
37. Catch a ball at a baseball game.
    
38. Learn to ski.
39. Visit a pyramid.
40. Go to a drive-in movie theater.
41. Run with the bulls.
    
42. Go horse back riding for one whole day.
43. Do karaoke in front of a crowd.
44. Go on a blind date.
45. Be hypnotized.
46. Get a manicure.
47. Stroll along the Great Wall of China.
    
48. Attend a film festival.
49. Write a song.
50. Give to the homeless person on the corner.
51. Climb a tree all the way to the top.
52. Wade in a public fountain.
53. Fly a red-eye.
54. Leave a letter in a random book in a library. Look for it 10 years later.
55. Bungee jump.
56. Get a total body massage.
57. Helicopter over a Hawaiian volcano.
58. Dance the tango in Argentina.
59. Eat the chicken heart at Tuchanos.