Tuesday, April 7, 2009


I haven't written in a while because I simply haven't felt like it. I have been tired, mentally and physically and have not had the motivation needed for this blog. I want to write something good and maybe even a little inspiring but I am scared of doing a bad job.
You see, I have so many thoughts running through my head all the time. They never stop. I am constantly thinking during the day and all through the night. Sometimes I cannot sleep because of all the things I am thinking. It's insane!!! And the worst part is- 9 times out of 10, I cannot remember all of them but when I do, I can't communicate them to people very well. It is VERY frustrating! But here is something I was thinking about the other night. (it kept me up actually)
I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how I was going to survive my upcoming week. It was busy and full of hard work and I just did not want to think about it. Then this thought came to me, It's not necessarily all about my happiness. Everyone I meet this week are probably having as hard of a week as I am. I couldn't believe how selfish I was being!- how selfish I have been. Who feels like bleh because I have been self centered and only concerned on my happiness or well being? Things need to change. You never know how people are feeling that day, what if it's there worst day ever and you don't necessarily make it worse but you don't make it better either?
I remember one morning before class started, I was waiting in line to wash my hands when the girl in front of me said, "How are you?" "Pardon?" I asked. I understood her but I didn't think she was talking to me. I didn't even know her. "How are you?" she asked again. "Oh! Good thanks!" I said with a suprised smile. It was very odd but it made my entire day! That morning had been rushed and rough and she turned it into calming and honestly?- care-free. It was fabulous and I have always been too scared to do that to someone else. Maybe tomorrow's the day? Maybe tomorrow's the first day of many to come. Time to take the initiviative. Here we go.

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