Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bob & Me

So my friends. I'm sitting at my slide today when I catch his eye. That's right. His.
Before I continue, you must know I am sly: cunning AND stealthy. You know what I'm sayin? So here I am, all cool and rad, sending people down slides, counting to 20 (one-one thousand, two- one thousand, three-one thousand.... ) when he turns up in front of me and says,

"Hi. I'm *Bob. What's your name?"
"Sasha" I reply. (I really wanted to say Penelope or Felicity or something exotic but I couldn't think of a name fast enough!)
"Nice to meet you Sasha" he says. "So how old are you?"


I wasn't going to tell him such things!
"How old are you?" I ask. He hesitates and umms and awws until he spills.
"Me too." I reply.
"Really? Good!" And then he sighs the greatest sigh I have ever seen!
Stressed much? I wonder. And then he gives me the longest explanation, um, ever, about how scary it is to tell a girl how old they are because, and I quote, "What if they turn around and say they're 22?!"
"No worries Bob. I'm not 22."
"I know," he says. "This could work."


And quickly, swiftly and rather hurriedly, I send him down the slide. Nothing could work my friend. Please do not say such things. Thanks.

*name changed

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