Monday, March 21, 2011

Ever since I was little...

... I wanted to attend the Tische School for the Arts, a sub-college apart of New York University. There, I wanted to pursue a career in singing, acting and dancing and become the next Sutton Foster while following in the footsteps of Barbra Streisand. However, when I realized I wasn't talented enough (harsh but true), I gave up on that dream. And for a while, I had no idea what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be. And for a long time, that scared me.
Eventually I discovered my passion for people. More than anything I want to help; to give back. So I decided nursing might be the way to do that. Therefore, I decided to not go to New York, to stay in Utah, and attend a school about 25-30 minutes away from my home. And I have always been content with this idea.
However, now there is all this talk of my peers moving away from home and going to college in a different city, a different state, and even a different country. I promise I am happy for them, but at the same time, there's a part of me that wishes I was joining them. Not because I'm sick of my family or anything (Heavens no, I love my family SO much!), but because I want an adventure. I need an adventure. And maybe this is a mid-life crisis sort of thing, and it will pass (though fingers crossed this isn't the middle of my life), but right now? I want the new environment, the new faces, and the new life lessons.
I absolutely love the movie, 'You've Got Mail' and I can identify with Meg Ryan's speech in which she says, Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?
I think I know the answer to that question. However, the idea of working in a little bookstore and coming home to the love of my life in a small apartment in New York City doesn't sound that bad to me. But maybe I'm in love with the movie rather than reality. I don't know.
But I do know that I'm going to work hard, love my job, and love my life. I will not settle. And then maybe just maybe... actually I'm not sure how to finish this sentence. Maybe just maybe... at the end of the day I'll be happy with my life...? Okay, that works for me:)


  1. What ever you decide to do, make sure it makes you excited and what you really care about. Do it for you, but also remember who you are and why you are here on earth.

    I am excited for you, don't be too impatient to make haste slowly.

    Love always,
    Grandpa Agle

  2. I too share your love for new adventures and know that they're worth pursuing just for the experience of seeing new things. Two years ago while working in western New York, I decided to get in my car and just drive. Eventually, I found myself near the Hill Cummorah. That was amazing. Then I went to the Baseball Hall of Fame, which for me was incredible. Sometimes, just finding a new place to go and visit even if its not that far is sweet. Still, the best part about traveling is that, sooner or later, you come to fully know one of life's truths. That there is no place like home.

  3. Your post was very interesting. I remember being a senior in high school and not knowing what to do with my future. Here is my advice: the last thing you want to do is limit yourself. Even if you're pretty sure you want to go to school in Utah, there is never harm in applying elsewhere just for the heck of it. For instance, I applied to an Ivy League school-- just for the heck of it, I NEVER thought I'd get in-- and I did.

    And on going to college out of state... I am far away from home and it can be hard (I haven't hugged my mommy since Christmas!). However, I wouldn't have it any other way. Going to school on the East Coast has been completely rewarding. That being said, it's not for everyone. I would encourage you to always keep your options open and always be ready for an adventure, but to also do what feels right for you.