Iris - in loving memory

Kat Mikolasy died March 6, 2009 at 9:15 pm. A friend of hers was playing with a gun and accidentally shot her. She died en route to the the hospital.

I don't think it has really set in completely. She was in my seminary class last semester. I'm not going to pretend we were best friends, because we weren't. Yet I can't lie by saying we were not friends because we were.

When I first got the text about Kat, I didn't think I knew her. Kat from seminary never crossed my mind. I searched the year book but she was not in there. I searched facebook and I couldn't find her. I tried many spellings of her last name and finally found her. I clicked on her profile picture and immediately knew I knew her.

I went upstairs and sat on the ground. It didn't seem real. Things like this don't happen to 16 year olds in Provo. They just don't.

Tara, the student body president, called me a few minutes later to check up on me. Thank you Tara. You are so kind.

Kat was super cute and super small. She was very sweet and got along with everyone she met. (At least that was how it was in our seminary class) She had this cool, skater attire going that I have always wished I could pull off. She was a joy in 5th period.

For a short time during the semester, we missed her from class a few times. One day on my way out of school, I said, "Kat! We miss you in seminary!" "Thanks," she replied with a smile. Next class, she was in her seat, eager to learn. I don't know why she was gone for those few times and I don't think it was because of me she came back but it made me happy that she was.

After we got new seminary classes I did not see her very much. I'd pass her every now and then in the hall but that's it. I wish I did more.

Every time someone I know dies, I re-examine my life. Am I happy? Am I doing what I need to? Who knows how long I have. How long everyone has!

I read an article by John Bytheway and in it he said, "The best way to prepare for death is to live life to the fullest." And I think that when you loose a loved one, there is sorrow on Earth but joy in heaven.

We'll miss you Kat.

flower jonas

mary and me

Yesterday was quite a day. I had school... bleh. Still. I was thinking. I should go to England for like, a month, stay with my grandparents, help them around the house or whatever they need, and go to school there! How AMAZING would that be??? It's not that I don't love my family and I'm one of those kids who wants to run-a-way because that has never crossed my mind. But! I'm not saying I don't love my grandparents, England, or a little vacation.
I digress. (very badly) So after rehearsal I went to join my gangsta friend (jk we only try to be homies) at BYU's Marriot Center to get tickets for Stadium of Fire this year on July 4th. Mary got them and do you want to know whose performing??? Just guess!!!
JONAS BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me, Mary, JO BROS, July 4th. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I don't think it has dawned on my yet because there should deffinitely be more exclamation marks on that 'Ah!' .
So afterwards we went to her house and I think I was laughing the whole time. We even made a gangsta rap. One day we will be pro gangstas....
Then we went to Mr. Timpview. (Basically a boys pageant for our school) HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE. It was so funny! Oh my. They were all fantastic. I hope someone recorded it because I will deffinitely put it up.
When I came home, I went to bed and slept... until 10:00! Wooohoooo! Soon I'm going to D.I but not for well, to be frank: cheap clothes, but for vintage clothes. I'm so excited!!! Vintage is my favorite style! My Mommy is SO nice to take me. She is the best.... in the entire world! Can I hear a woot woot?

Dandelion

my BEAUTIFUL cousin Aria and I

You know those days that are just bleh? The days that have no other words to describe them? Like, I didn't take risks and I didn't do anything close to check off things on my life list. I didn't make new friends or try new foods. I didn't laugh so hard water came out of my nose, I didn't cry... for any reason (happy or sad, or even allergies), and I didn't take a step closer to my dreams and hopes.
I did not live in the moment. I existed. I went to my class avoiding unnecessary contact with my peers, sitting in the desks staring blankly at the teacher, hearing the bell, and exiting quickly out of the class room. I repeated this four times today.
ugh.
But life is not over, I had no reason whatsoever to be this way, and I have no intention to be that way tomorrow. At 4:45 am tomorrow morning, I am going to wake up and smile. I am going to do geometry and smile. I am going to try-out for my school's choir and smile. I am going to dance my heart out next, stuff my face after, and learn about the human body last. Sounds like a great day right? Well it won't be over because it's FRIDAY tomorrow. Blessed, blessed day. Then there's the after school activities, hanging with friends, family and uh, food. And then there's Saturday and restful Sunday.

woop-di-doo

Tulip

Today I was thinking about the good ol' days back in Glendale. I was thinking about our little back yard. Can you call it that? Probably not because it was more like a strip of dirt behind our house. But I enjoyed it none the less. I thought of the many times I tried to create a fairy town but I always got stumped with the fairy pool. I would dig a hole and put water in it but in two minutes, the water would be gone. I could never figure out where it went. (Absorption was not in my vocabulary at that time.) So I would get the hose and refill it, go back to working on the fairy huts and visit my pool once again to find it empty. I gave up many times.

Katie and I playing dress up

My thoughts also wandered back to recess in elementary school. I would, believe it or not, chase the boys. Is that terrible? I'm sorry but it was fun! Now that I think about it.... those poor boys! I can just imagine them, terrified for their lives, running from crazy me. And believe me, I would stop at nothing. I eventually found ALL their hiding places.
I am pleased to report I do not chase boys anymore. I guess you could say I went through a phase- but a phase that is VITAL in growing up.

So. I just got home from visiting a rest home. When I was in primary, we went to one and I saw some nudity, done on accident of course, and I have not been to one since. Tonight I made friends with Laurie, Ruth and Barbra. They are delights! It was apparent that Barbra loved America with a passion. And Ruth! Wow, Ruth loved Bingo. And sweet Laurie, knew everything about Ruth and Barbra. It was so fun to hear their stories. I wish I could have stayed all night listening to their tales.
When I am older, I hope I repeat things many times to my friends. I hope I love my country (wherever that may be) as much as they obviously do. And most of all, I hope I am not lonely like they are not. Katie said that when she is 74, (Barbra's age) she hopes to eat as many cookies conscience free as she wants. I think that's something to look forward to.

Basil

my puppy!!!!!!! xoxo

This is going to be brief, I must apologize in advance- but I just wanted to fill you in on the goodies of this evening.
So! I have just taken a hot, toasty shower and now I am waiting while my herbal tea is sitting and brewing goodness! In two minutes I am going to take it up to my bed and sip it while I read from fabulous books!!!!!!!! I am so excited. I love life. I love it! Oh my gosh I'm just so excited to be cozy and woot woot woot! I love simple things at night. If you couldn't tell, it makes me happy.

Picture of the day

My fabulous family! Oh, I just love them! Summer 2007

Lilly

1. Ride a gondola in Italy.
2. Work at Disneyland.
   
3. Explore the middle east.
4. Listen to my own heart beat with a stethescope.
   
5. Eat sushi.
6. Go toilet paper a house.
   
7. Look at a snowflake under a microscope
   
8. Swim with the dolphins.
   
9. Throw a huge party and invite everyone I know.
10. Skydive (with someone is allowed)
11. Get a portrait done of myself.
    
12. Become AMAZING at french.
13. Tell someone the story of your life with out missing ANYTHING.
14. Be a member of an audience on a TV show.
15. Send a message in a bottle.
16. Ride a camel into the desert.
17. Plant a tree.
18. Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia.
19. Sit on a jury.
20. Write... something!
    
21. Dance the night away somewhere
    
22. Shower in a waterfall.
23. Teach someone illiterate to read.
24. See a lunar eclipse.
25. Spend New Year's in an exotic location.
26. Spend New Year's in New York and watch the ball drop.
27. Go gravity-less
    
28. Write my will.
29. Ride the scariest roller coaster in the world.
30. Learn to juggle.
    
31. Donate money to a good cause.
32. Grow a garden.
33. Scuba dive in Australia's Great Barrier Reef.
34. Go up in a hot-air balloon.
35. Attend one really huge rock concert.
36. Go inside the Statue of Liberty.
    
37. Catch a ball at a baseball game.
    
38. Learn to ski.
39. Visit a pyramid.
40. Go to a drive-in movie theater.
41. Run with the bulls.
    
42. Go horse back riding for one whole day.
43. Do karaoke in front of a crowd.
44. Go on a blind date.
45. Be hypnotized.
46. Get a manicure.
47. Stroll along the Great Wall of China.
    
48. Attend a film festival.
49. Write a song.
50. Give to the homeless person on the corner.
51. Climb a tree all the way to the top.
52. Wade in a public fountain.
53. Fly a red-eye.
54. Leave a letter in a random book in a library. Look for it 10 years later.
55. Bungee jump.
56. Get a total body massage.
57. Helicopter over a Hawaiian volcano.
58. Dance the tango in Argentina.
59. Eat the chicken heart at Tuchanos.