I'm likening this blog to Taylor Swift's amazing new album, "Speak Now." For example, some songs on her new CD are venting while some are your typical country song stories. This blog is a 'venting Taylor Swift song' as opposed to my other blogs which are normally happy-go-lucky... typical country song stories... I hope you don't judge me for this post but sometimes, If I can't write about it, what can I do about it?
A while back, I learned that many of my peers at school felt I was "fake." Ya know, not genuine and one who hides their true feelings. (These feeling normally refer to dislike for those they come in contact with.) Am I making any sense?
Well, when I learned this I was... shocked, to say the least. I never considered myself to be that way. However, for the past few weeks I have tried to be as real as possible. This 'real as possible' version of me is not one I like. I am tired and I don't hide it. I am blunt and honest (not always in a good way), I am very opinionated, and my mood is litterally 'blah.' There is no other word to describe it. It's not happy and it's not sad. I am honestly neutral about everything.
So, I am addressing this to those who said I was fake in the first place. Which side of me do you prefer? Because I don't know how to make you happy. I have come to realize that the "fake" side of me was not "fake" like you so lovingly put it. In fact, it was simply focussing and putting my efforts on my somewhat reedemable qualities. These days, I do not put any effort into anything and I would just like to thank you for that. You rock. Never change. HAGS.
...Harsh. Okay, okay. I take some of that back. (Not all of it-- just some.) It's not their fault that my personality has become lazy. It is all me. I need to change it. And I also need to remember that it doesn't matter what people think about me. If I'm happy being "fake" then I'm happy being "fake". But dear friends, do not judge or verbally express your negative feelings about a fellow classmate. That bugs me and I don't appreciate it.
(It's not Sasha tonight... as I'm sure you can tell.)