Sunday, December 13, 2009
I bluffed my biggest bluff last night. My friends, it was epic. I went on a... quadruple date last night. Is that what you call it when there are four couples? Hmm. I think I'll just stick with group date. So I was on this group date, and we were riding slowly through the "Festival of Lights" in the back of a truck with the most blankets I think I have ever seen. Picture this: 8 shivering teenagers in below freezing river, watching lights in shapes such as frogs, birds, and lochness monsters. (The tail moved-- highlight of my night.) Believe me, it was fun.
However, I digress. I'm not entirely sure how it came up but bada bing bada boom, I just started talking about my summer at fat camp. In my bluff, I was 10 and weighed 400 lbs. My friends, is that even possible? Well I let them ask questions about fat camp and I sounded well educated because I based all my answers off the movie "Heavyweights" starring Ben Stiller.
My favorite questions were the following:
Q: "What did you do all day?"
A: "Exercise. That's really about it."
Q: "Was there a crazy guy there like Ben Stiller?"
A: "Well... no. But there were versions of him."
and my other favorite which is not quite a question...
kinda Q: "Wait! You did NOT go to fat camp! You're like the skinniest girl I've ever seen!" Ladies and gentlemen, last night I was wearing a flowy shirt and a huge coat. There was no way she could have seen if I was in fact "the skinniest girl (she's) ever seen!" I was laughing hysterically but thankfully it was dark so they could not see.
I'm not sure what my date was doing the whole time but he wasn't in the conversation at the beginning and so it wasn't until he heard me say 400 lbs that he said, "What?"
"I was once 400 lbs."
"No you weren't."
"Yes I was."
"No, you're lying."
Right then and there I couldn't help but burst out into great fits of laughter which told the enitre truck that I was in fact teasing them. My laughter spread to each person there and pretty soon my abs felt like they were about to break. It was a joke that did not die for the rest of the night and 14 hours later, I'm still chuckling.